If they haven’t come along in your practice yet, they almost certainly will. These are among the ones that made the biggest difference for me.
Ben: salon owner and hairdresser
This man was not really a client but a fellow professional I met while performing a make-up assignment at the home of a bride. Ben had been contracted to style her hair. He watched my work, complimented it, and invited me to do it, free of any personal percentage as a benefit for his customers at his nearby salon. That single act of generosity led to building a starter client base, discovering my first business address almost right next door to the salon and, ultimately, one of the best performing day spas in the country. How easy it would have been to decline that opportunity. How glad I have been that I didn’t.
The lesson: You never know where great opportunity might be found, so never isolate yourself. If a door is offered to you at least see what’s behind it before you pass it by.
Francis: 3-time widow and life-long free spirit
This gentle 78-year old niece of a notable American female photographer was, perhaps, the sturdiest and wisest of all my many clients. This fearless world traveler would, on a whim, buy a ticket to Rome, London, or anywhere without so much as reserving a hotel room or making an itinerary. She’d just pack, fly, and go wherever the moment led her. Her stories were fascinating and her experiences rich in the unexpected. “Planning is like scripting”, she told me, “and I prefer things as they happen, not as one hopes they’ll be.” She said that the worst thing about aging was that her friends got “old”—by that she meant that they abandoned excitement for life and stayed home to die. “Never die while you’re still alive”, she warned. I promise that I won’t.Mariah: she’s got the world on a string
Beautiful, charismatic, funny, infuriating, and stubborn, this former client, turned employee, turned manager, turned entrepreneur, was a constant source of excitement and rage in me for most of the 22 years I’ve known her. Both strong-willed individuals that like to win an issue, we repeatedly struggled for power and competed for advantage in just about every aspect of our profession possible. No one had the ability to send me into a spasm of anger like she could, and I deeply resented her for that, but not anymore. Now, I adore her. It took Mariah to help me see something about myself that wasn’t working very well—the need to always be in control, the center of attention, and the most influential on others. She forced me to give ground when she was present, and now I see how alienating and intimidating I could be. When I finally abandoned the contest she no longer seemed to be involved with it either. I learned so much from her about myself, and we are once again good friends.
Jan: vampire of time and energy
A very nice lady with a tragic personal life, Jan’s weekly facials slowly morphed into a monotonous and draining endurance test of my privacy and patience. Every new appointment was a stage upon which the next awful episode of her unfaithful marriage would be played-out, complete with tears, self-pity, and other terrible elements of the victim mind. Worse, she began to drop-in between visits, asking me for a few minutes of my busy day to deliver updates that were too terrible to wait. I began to panic, daily dreading the moment when she would appear behind me in the spa, wet-eyed and trembling cheeked, in need of just another quarter-hour. Finally, I realized that I had enabled Jan to use me this way and, nervously, knew that I had to confront her about it. Even though I was certain she’d quit me as a client. To my surprise she was as relieved to let it go as I was for it to go away. It just stopped and she never spoke of it again. Jan helped me to set the personal boundaries I use to this day—the time she snatched away I have had returned in other situations with great interest.
Michael
Michael was a middle-aged, sometimes arrogant, high tech salesman. He was always edgy and easily offended. I didn’t always look forward to his facial appointments. He enjoyed flaunting his .com-era earnings, and became demanding about his services and belief that his loyalty had earned him preferential consideration. Then, it all came crashing down. He lost one job, then another. He hit long periods of unemployment forcing him to sell his home, take a hard hit on an expensive car lease and, on top of all that, have to care for an invalid mother and sick son on his own. Month after month he’d continue to have his facial, and every month his story became increasingly dire, even to the point of considering suicide. I could not for the life of me understand why he’d justify having my high-end treatments under those terrible circumstances. And then he told me: that his time with me in that room was virtually the only he’d been having where he felt comfortable and cared about, particularly since he was having to look after so many others. Michael said he’d give up a lot before giving up his appointment with me. I had always known that clients received more than skin care during a facial, but I had never understood as clearly as I did after this example. What a remarkable thing we aestheticians do!
Lisa
Lisa was referred to me by a loyal client of mine, and a colleague where she worked. Our lives were emotionally unraveling at the same time but neither knew it about the other. This beautiful woman with a generous heart and highly perceptive mind helped me peel away the layers of protection and pretense that had resulted from years of coping with depression. An unhappy child had grown into an aloof and critical man, hiding his vulnerability and excessive caution behind a mask of confidence and imperial haugh confidence and haughtiness. How she managed to see the better personal qualities she later helped me to manifest is the greatest mystery to me, and the greatest possible gift. And now, 15 years later, she remains the most loyal of friends and my amazing wife and soul mate. What a career it’s been!
Douglas Preston is the president of Preston Incorporated, Preston Spa Consulting, and Preston Private Label Products. He is a business consultant and frequent lecturer in the day and medical spa industry that’s been featured on CNN and Fine Living channels as well as America Online’s The Startup 2 small business reality series. Preston’s business articles regularly appear in DERMASCOPE, Spa Management Journal and numerous other magazines. He also contributes as an editorial advisor to several respected spa trade publications. Preston is past-president of Aesthetics International Association (AIA), serves as a committee chairman for The Day Spa Association (DSA), and trains internationally for spa and salon businesses. He is a highly regarded authority in professional skin care and spa career development – licensed as a professional aesthetician in California since 1982. Douglas Preston can be contacted at douglas@prestoninc.net
